Politics
Taliban Retaliates Against Pakistan by Making Afghan Sons Study STEM
Officials said every airstrike would be answered with one fewer madrassa application and several extremely resentful engineers.
By Gul Khan Shamshatokhel · THE COLLECTED EDITIONS
Archive
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37 stories
By Gul Khan Shamshatokhel · 
News
Khalilzad Criticizes Wolves For Entering Afghanistan Through Door He Left Open
The former envoy condemned Pakistani airstrikes while expressing concern that Afghans had been thrown to the wolves he helped invite back inside.
By Ghorband Parwani · 
Politics
Karzai Reminds Taliban Brothers He Welcomed Home Not To Search Guests Before Tea
The former president said Afghan hospitality requires letting visitors finish their first cup before asking who their father is and why they came.
By Shal Gham Shinwari · 
News
Border Closure Rebranded as Premium Storage Service for Afghan Traders
Officials praised regional interdependence after discovering that stranded merchandise can support two economies without entering either one.
By FNU Rumi · 
Politics
Afghanistan Classifies Educated Girls as Dangerous Unexploded Potential
Officials warn that one completed homework assignment could destabilize an entire room of important men.
By Dandakay Ahmadzai · 
Politics
Kabul Newsroom Introduces Receipt Showing How Much Truth Each Guest Purchased
Editors said tea earns a respectful mention, while lunch includes one softened allegation.
By Anar Gul Safi · 
Politics
Hebatullah Buys Trump Mask After Afghan Women Costumes Require Visible Faces
The Taliban leader rejected several disguises for violating policies he had personally approved.
By FNU Rumi · 
News
Pakistan Investigates How Its Shells Became Civilians’ Fault in Kunar
Officials promised a transparent inquiry, provided nobody asks where the artillery came from.
By Anar Gul Safi · 
Politics
Kabul Watchdog Requires Permission From the Man It Is Watching
Its first independent finding is that the permission form is unavailable.
By Anar Gul Safi · 
News
Security Briefing Defeats al-Qaeda by Moving It to the Appendix
The executive summary remains entirely peaceful.
By Chinaar Wardak · 
News
Ghazni–Paktika Road Completed, Pending Construction
Officials confirm the remaining work is limited to the road.
By FNU Rumi · 
Politics
Kabul Family Reclassifies Forced Displacement as Overseas Success
The spreadsheet records where relatives ended up, never what they had to get away from.
By Shirin Jan Do-Rukha ·