THE COLLECTED EDITIONS
News From the Torshi newsroom.
26 stories
Afghanistan completed a road through Wakhan toward China. Karzai says he started it, Ghani says he designed it, Hibatullah says he finished it, and Pakistan wants to know who authorized Afghanistan to have another exit. China has already shipped Mullah Wei Qiangullah Chan Noorzai. News
Afghanistan Opens China Route, Pakistan Warns Sovereignty Could Become Habit-Forming Pakistan condemned Afghanistan’s new China route as economic terrorism after discovering strategic depth now has an eastern exit.
By Mircha Khan Hotak · 2026-10-05 Sami Sadat recruited twelve generals in Britain. Hollywood offered them roles in Tropic Thunder II. Negotiations collapsed when nobody agreed to play a soldier. News
Sami Sadat Recruits Afghan Generals in Britain, Hollywood Mistakes Them for Cast The liberation of Kabul entered pre-production after twelve generals requested executive producer credits.
By General Khudaidad Sangar Khadyar 03 · 2026-10-03 Pakistan’s Taliban quarrel has convinced Gulbuddin Hekmatyar that strategic depth is texting its ex. His family has hidden the rocket maps; Rawalpindi is reviewing previously owned assets. News
Hekmatyar Mistakes Pakistan’s Taliban Quarrel for Late-Night “You Up?” Message The former mujahideen leader says Islamabad’s buyer’s remorse proves their unfinished romance merely paused for twenty-five years and several replacements.
By Shal Gham Shinwari · 2026-10-02 Kabul says alleged Pakistani airstrikes cannot be condemned until Afghanistan produces four witnesses, two missiles and written permission from Rawalpindi. News
Taliban Rules Condemning Pakistan Requires Four Witnesses and Rawalpindi’s Permission Officials said alleged Pakistani airstrikes cannot be criticized until Afghanistan produces evidence more convincing than the explosions.
By Gul Khan Shamshatokhel · 2026-10-01 Pakistan expected the Taliban’s return to deliver strategic depth. Kabul has filed a warranty claim after discovering the package includes airstrikes, denials and no customer support. News
Taliban Summons Pakistan’s Envoy, Demands Refund on Strategic Depth Warranty Islamabad’s army reportedly offered store credit redeemable against one future denial of Afghan sovereignty.
By Chinaar Wardak · 2026-09-30 Pakistan told Shumaila Chaudhary’s war commission it supported every American objective, especially the ones that contradicted each other—and that hiding Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad was apparently bonus credit. Afghan testimony was allotted three minutes, including translation. News
Shumaila Chaudhary Asks Pakistan to Grade Its Own Afghanistan War Homework Islamabad awarded itself full marks for cooperation and bonus credit for hiding Osama bin Laden in a garrison town.
By Gul Khan Shamshatokhel · 2026-09-29 Afghan women returned to UNGA and finally received the seat they demanded. Diplomats praised the breakthrough and confirmed the table remains in Doha. News
Afghan Women Agree Afghanistan Needs One Female Voice, Nominate Seven Nargis Nehan, Hanifa Girowal and other Afghan women returned to UNGA to explain for the fifth year that meaningful participation traditionally involves participating.
By Fatimeh Daikundiwal · 2026-09-28 Thirty years after Dr. Najibullah’s killing, the Taliban admitted they could not arrest history.So they arrested September 27.Pakistan denied knowing the date but warned journalists not to open the Babar Files. News
Taliban Marks Najibullah Murder Anniversary by Arresting the Calendar Officials said September 27 had repeatedly circulated hostile material about the movement’s 1996 killing of the former president and his brother.
By Mullah Shamsher Noorzai Kandahari Aqa · 2026-09-28 Pakistan asked Mullah Yaqoob to spare Punjab from any Afghan retaliation, reminding Kabul that Pakistan is a federation and several other provinces remain available.Islamabad called it strategic depth with geographic flexibility. News
Pakistan Asks Mullah Yaqoob to Exclude Punjab From Retaliation, Says Rest of Country Fair Game Khawaja Asif said Afghanistan may defend itself provided it respects Pakistan’s strategic definition of Pakistan.
By Saleem Sufi · 2026-09-27 Khalilzad condemned Pakistani airstrikes after helping return the Taliban to power, saying Afghans should not have been thrown to any wolves beyond the ones specified in his agreement. News
Khalilzad Criticizes Wolves For Entering Afghanistan Through Door He Left Open The former envoy condemned Pakistani airstrikes while expressing concern that Afghans had been thrown to the wolves he helped invite back inside.
By Ghorband Parwani · 2026-09-24 The border’s new economic model is simple: one side closes it, the other protests, and Afghan traders pay for the friendship. News
Border Closure Rebranded as Premium Storage Service for Afghan Traders Officials praised regional interdependence after discovering that stranded merchandise can support two economies without entering either one.
By FNU Rumi · 2026-09-24 Pakistan will investigate how artillery crossed into Kunar, killed civilians and left senior officials with no witnesses except an entire village. News
Pakistan Investigates How Its Shells Became Civilians’ Fault in Kunar Officials promised a transparent inquiry, provided nobody asks where the artillery came from.
By Anar Gul Safi · 2026-09-23