KABUL—Taliban morality police ordered UN envoy Rabab Fatima to surrender her first name after discovering a banned musical instrument traveling under diplomatic immunity.
“We welcome diplomacy,” Hanafi explained. “But no woman may enter Afghanistan carrying music in her passport.”
Hibatullah approved Fatima but ordered Rabab deported. Immigration officers could not separate them after discovering they shared a birth certificate.
Amr bil Maroof rejected “Ambassador Fatima,” warning that an unmarried first name might travel without a mahram.
“Today it's Rabab,” officials warned. “Tomorrow someone will name her daughter Naghma & demand an audition for Radio Taliban Gone Wild.”
Guterres threatened an emergency Security Council session. “We will not allow Taliban to silence a UN instrument,” he declared, before demanding that Rabab remain silent until consultations end.
Kandahar accused the UN of promoting immorality, a relic of the republic's alleged hedonism. Guterres offered a compromise: Rabab could enter as an observer, provided she neither played nor spoke.
Hibatullah rejected the offer. “We do not recognize the UN,” he said, echoing the movement's founder, Mullah Omar.
The UN announced that it would appoint a special envoy to negotiate the envoy's name. Kandahar demanded that the replacement have neither a musical name nor a female voice.
Guterres ordered a minute of silence in protest.
Hibatullah approved the minute and demanded that it be extended indefinitely.