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Stories beyond the current front page. Always available, never moved or deleted.

37 stories

Taliban Bans BBC After Discovering British Empire Never Left Afghanistan, Just Subcontracted Colonial Rule to Pakistan
Taliban bans BBC after discovering Britain outsourced its Afghan empire to Pakistan. Rawalpindi demands royalties, London celebrates decolonization, and Kandahar declares independence by making Afghan nationalism a national-security threat.

News

Taliban Bans BBC After Discovering British Empire Never Left Afghanistan, Just Subcontracted Colonial Rule to Pakistan

Kabul accused Britain of spending two centuries trying to defeat Afghan nationalism before discovering Pakistan could finish the job with religious proxies and a BBC subscription.

By Chinaar Wardak ·
Opinion | Atif Mashall: My Loyalty to the Afghan Republic Was So Strong, I Have Decided to Serve Its Replacement
Atif Mashall explains why his loyalty to the Afghan Republic remains unwavering despite its disappearance. Through AISRS, he proposes a new diplomatic model: former Republic officials serving the Taliban while Washington condemns the Haqqani Network downstairs and attends its seminars upstairs.

Opinion

Opinion | Atif Mashall: My Loyalty to the Afghan Republic Was So Strong, I Have Decided to Serve Its Replacement

The former ambassador explains why changing governments is not changing principles, provided one's diplomatic relevance remains uninterrupted.

By Atif Mashall ·
Taliban Lectures Pakistan Army on Dictatorship, Threatens Patent Lawsuit After Discovering Rawalpindi Is Crushing Protesters Without a License From Kandahar
Taliban offers Pakistan protest-control training to repair relations. Omar Zakhilwal volunteers as Islamabad's ambassador of Afghan gratitude. Asim Munir declines: “We taught you how to seize Afghanistan. Don't teach us how to run Pakistan.”

News

Taliban Lectures Pakistan Army on Dictatorship, Threatens Patent Lawsuit After Discovering Rawalpindi Is Crushing Protesters Without a License From Kandahar

Kandahar offered Rawalpindi a masterclass in crushing dissent, while Omar Zakhilwal volunteered to thank Pakistan for sacrificing Afghanistan in the first place.

By Gul Khan Shamshatokhel ·
UN Nominates Golali Karimi for Nobel Peace Prize, Afghan Feminists Reconsider Career Choices
The UN nominated Golali Karimi for the Nobel Peace Prize, sending Geneva's women's-rights circuit into a career crisis. Instagram offered followers without accreditation, sponsors without grant proposals, and visibility without Richard Bennett.

News

UN Nominates Golali Karimi for Nobel Peace Prize, Afghan Feminists Reconsider Career Choices

Geneva's women's-rights circuit faces an existential crisis after discovering that liberation may have better engagement outside the conference hall.

By Golchehreh Hussaini ·
Moscow Hosts Afghanistan Intervention Alumni Reunion, Everyone Now Against Foreign Interference
Moscow hosted an Afghanistan intervention alumni reunion. Russia discovered sovereignty after withdrawing, Pakistan discovered non-interference after losing influence, and Khalilzad reminded Afghans to decide their own future once everyone else finishes.

News

Moscow Hosts Afghanistan Intervention Alumni Reunion, Everyone Now Against Foreign Interference

Lavrov, Pakistan and the Taliban agreed Afghanistan must never again become a playground for foreign powers without consulting the previous players.

By Shal Gham Shinwari ·
U.S. Recruits Taliban to Liberate The Hague From International Law, Says Regime Change Is Different This Time
Washington reunited with its former Doha partners for regime change in The Hague. Last time America handled the withdrawal and the Taliban supplied the replacement government. The ICC has not been invited to negotiations about its future.

News

U.S. Recruits Taliban to Liberate The Hague From International Law, Says Regime Change Is Different This Time

Washington reunited with its former Doha partners after remembering their last joint project successfully removed the Afghan Republic from both negotiations and Afghanistan.

By Kishmish Farhadi ·
Afghanistan Opens China Route, Pakistan Warns Sovereignty Could Become Habit-Forming
Afghanistan completed a road through Wakhan toward China. Karzai says he started it, Ghani says he designed it, Hibatullah says he finished it, and Pakistan wants to know who authorized Afghanistan to have another exit. China has already shipped Mullah Wei Qiangullah Chan Noorzai.

News

Afghanistan Opens China Route, Pakistan Warns Sovereignty Could Become Habit-Forming

Pakistan condemned Afghanistan’s new China route as economic terrorism after discovering strategic depth now has an eastern exit.

By Mircha Khan Hotak ·